One star

8/31 daily posts as part of WeblogPoMo2024. Expect (and forgive) more words and less editing.

The workbook received a one-star review today. One star means that you couldn't like a thing less. You couldn't imagine it being worse.

The review?

Your templates won't download with Mac Safari

Our reviewer – let's call him Robert¹ – purchased the 120-page book at 11:09 and had one-starred it by 11:20 because he couldn't download the templates. Which are at the back of the book.

He hasn't even read it.

A better ratings system

Years ago, eBay removed the ability to negatively review a purchase. Then YouTube removed the display of 'thumbs-downs' on a video. (You can still mash the thumbs-down button if it makes you feel better. I hope it doesn't.)

I propose the abolition of the simple 1-5 star system. It serves nobody well.

Instead, you should have to click a link that describes, in words, how you feel. Here's how they translate.

⭐️

I could not imagine how this product could possibly be worse. Everything about it is pure crap. It has no redeeming qualities.

I wish a pox on the creator and their family. If I ever meet them I'll spit on their shoe. I hate myself for spending money on it.

⭐️⭐

This product is pretty bad, but is nevertheless serviceably useful. I'll use it begrudgingly if I need to, until it breaks, at which point I'll find a better model to replace it.

⭐️⭐️⭐️

This product does what I expected it to do. Not much more, not much less.

If every product was like this life would be like living in Zürich: banal, but tolerable.

⭐⭐️⭐️⭐️️

This product is pretty good! It's about how I expect most products to be.

If I made a product and it was like this I'd be pretty happy with myself, but I'd strive to do better next time.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The phone rings
"Hello?"
"Hey Alex, it's Johnny. You need to come over here and see this thing. Now."

Footnotes

1. Because that's his name. ↩